Now Playing Tracks

  • *hears noises at night*:

    well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

  • *gets shampoo in my eyes*:

    I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

  • *heart is beating fast*:

    I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

  • *a cop walks by*:

    here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

  • *taking a test*:

    don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

  • *gets a sunburn*:

    great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

  • *tripping over something*:

    I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

  • mum:

    hurry up i have to be somewhere

  • me:

    yanks plugs out of all electronic equipment to speed up shut down sprints out house half dressed and breaks speed limits running to car

  • -

  • me:

    hey mum i really have to be on time for this thing

  • mum:

    cleans entire house waters plants redecorates bedrooms applies for american citizenship runs for usa presidency starts a gambling ring purchases zimmer frame crawls to car forgets car keys has to crawl all the way back in house

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